18 Hours

It’s 07:39 on Monday morning. I’m standing in my kitchen because that is the only place wi-fi seems to work. I have just realized Christmas is done – Along with opening presents, good-will and cheer. The faces of the new year are slowly taking shape. It’s almost as if the dawning of stress from days that are yet to come have inverted the festive cheer and slightly twisted some people’s smiles. This year has been crazy; filled to the brim with dualities and I can’t help but reflect on the significance of some of the things I have observed, experienced and learned. For Christmas I got my notebook to scribble down my thoughts, and over the past two days I have been reflecting and scribbling. This is my final post for this year, 2013. This is me letting go and appreciating all the year had to offer. This year went by so fast – in a blink of an eye, but I learned my lessons. Enjoy the hours that are left in this year and allow me to share how I saw these past months…

18 Hours

1.
I saw ideas grow like trees;
giving breath to life and support to the living.

2.
I saw life as an ocean and myself as a library.
I saw the new year as a sunrise
but at the time I was too asleep to appreciate it.

3.
I witnessed intentions like a flame igniting wicks.
I also saw careless flames melt candles and set fire to curtains
reducing mansions to dying cinders,
but sometimes tears are stronger than fire
lifting the Phoenix from out our ashes.

4.
I learned angels can sometimes fall
and humans are able to carry them.

5.
I realized will is stronger than cancer
and souls are brighter than the shadows of love.

6.
I found expression was a direct telephone line to God;
He doesn’t speak human – so many hang-up –
but I find myself on the phone more often.

7.
I learned drum beats do more than keep melodies together
they are universes themselves
and they are waiting to be painted.

8.
I discovered how to let roses be
and how to appreciate them;
thorns and all,
because they don’t have to be plucked to be admired.

9.
I learned grey skies can block out the sun
but the rain it sometimes brings can cleanse the heaviness of souls.

10.
I discovered a half glass of water can eventually become the heaviest of burdens
and all I had to do was put it down.

11.
There were times I felt like Atlas
struggling to hold up the celestial sphere
but I saw angels and their wings beating for my heart
and the world didn’t seem so heavy.

12.
My heart was an actor
it played the role of a mirror.
Love was the sharpest of arrows and when it was released
it shattered my mirror into a thousand different pieces.
But I realized it still reflected and as I leaned in over the floor where it lay –
I found myself.

13.
I struggled to find the keys to unlock this cage
and when I found it,
I left its doors wide open,
even though the wind sometimes blows it closed.

14.
I saw expectation murder hope.
I forgave it and let it go.
My hope still lives from beyond the grave
like a ghost haunting my life.

15.
I saw egos as gardens and learned:
Some humans keep them tidy and beautiful,
others don’t.

16.
I saw words as more than merely letters
and sentences more than these words.
They were ancient pin pricks of light
like stars piercing the blanket of night,
making it more than just heavy but beautiful too.

17.
I observed seasons in everything;
from harsh stormy winters to beautiful lush summers
and depending where one is located in life,
we sometimes see winters all year-long.

18.
I felt this year was a day.
Every two hours – a month.
I slept for at least six of those hours,
but I’m awake now.
I saw the hours for what they were
and now I await for a beautiful sunrise.

 

Wishing you ALL a happy safe New Year. Although your year may have been incredibly shite, reflect on what you have experienced and hopefully you can take away something positive from the negative. Remember that truth is a bigger duality and we are often too small to see it, we get glimpses and slices which we see as good or bad. There is no right and wrong, only lessons and I do hope you have all learned yours. All the best for 2014.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Tis the season…

I was asked what I would like for Christmas.
I shrugged my shoulders in silence, but my heart confessed loudly:

I want to share an electric night-time kiss
and see it shimmy on the water’s surface.
I want to feel the pull of her gaze on my eyes in a full room,
yet she is the only one I see.
I want to feel the spark of that touch that sets off every landmine under my skin
As if I were Braille and her fingertips read exactly the way I feel.
I want to see her thoughts in pictures
so I can decorate my mind’s wall with frames of her.
I want to lock hands like lips
and speak pieces of ourselves,
filling each other like red balloons
purposely let go by the hand of a child that knows only how to love.
I want to feel a delicate hand over the humming-bird beneath my chest,
that somehow calms me, yet causes the beating wings to beat even harder
yearning for escape
and it does.
I want to open the ribs of my cage and let the choruses of starlings sing,
just so the world around me can hear what love really sounds like.
I want that sound to infect others
like I was an un-zombie, kissing bits of humanity back into you.
And all this I want for everyone.

My mouth then opened and I replied:
“I would like a notebook to scribble down my thoughts.”

Wishing all the followers and occasional readers the safest and merriest of festivities as the year draws to an end. The bestest of wishes for you all.

Merriest Christmas (or however you like to celebrate the last days of the year)

The Observing Vessel

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An Ocean

I have never been one to repeat my blog posts, but I had this urge to repost this particular post called “An Ocean”. Hello to new followers, much thanks and gratitude for continuously reading my posts. I encourage you all to check out my earlier posts if you find the time and boredom. So here is my re-blog of an old post…

The Observing Vessel's Blog

normal_ruisdael-storm-at-sea

If anything, life is a vast ocean. Constantly moving, swelling and crashing. And just like the weather doesn’t only affect one drop, it affects vast regions of ocean. You and I? We are the humble boats, luxury yachts and big corporate tankers. It matters not what you have as cargo. It can be two creatures in a boat with nothing more than raincoats and umbrellas. I’ve seen galleons and massive tankers succumb to violent storms only to be swallowed by the ocean, precious cargo and all. The wake the bigger vessels create, affects the others, especially the humble boats. They don’t care. They care too much for their precious cargo, even if it destroys them and this ocean we are all sailing.

So what is it that we are doing adrift this vast, endless ocean? I suspect to find dry land. A place to call home. A place that offers…

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A far way to go…

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We still have a far way to go.
We love to wage wars even if we are armed with nothing but opinions.
We feel we are entitled to them, but seldomly do we sacrifice it for peace.
We weild them like daggers, cutting little slivers of truth from out one another until we are all left bleeding out on the floor.
It is about choosing our battles, because truth is almost always too big for our hearts to hear.
So we do what we can in our capacity, and that capacity is different for each personality.