I have noticed I have picked up a few more followers over the last few posts, more than usual, which fills my heart with jelly beans and marshmellows. I have also noticed that my little stories have gotten more likes than usual. So for my new followers, and those who have not time-traveled my blog posts, I have decided to re-post a work still in progress. It’s called “Sven”, some of you may know him, others don’t. I will release this story in parts over the next few weeks. May you enjoy this silly, tall-tale of an awesometastic being named Sven. Happy Friday!
The thing about the thing about telling tales of leaf people is that they don’t like it much. My one friend’s second cousin, Andy, he once told a story of a leaf person. THAT story was genius! But that leaf person heard about it, stole Andy’s car, pawned it in and replaced it with a big shiny bubble. Andy was outraged, as insurance companies don’t insure big shiny bubbles. So leaf people tales are delicate. You have to know how to spindle their stories. If your facts aren’t entirely correct you WILL fall victim to a leaf person’s prank. Many people are quick to dismiss leaf people stories as “Tall Tales”. Just wait till they have a leaf person tale to tell! Truth be told leaf people are very friendly and helpful, it’s just that a lot of the tales that are spun are not entirely accurate. Not this one. This tale is about a particularly awesome leaf person named Sven.
Sven is brilliant. He once taught a door stop how to walk. That door stop went on to win gold at the Sydney Olympics. Sven is a traveller, a true leaf Gypsy. He even used to dress up as a middle-aged woman, reading various animals and people their future with a crystal ball, but the animals and people were confused and many feared his androgynous psychic abilities. Anyway, Sven was an orphan you see, lost his entire family tree at a young age. He witnessed them burn, but he luckily got away. He never let it get him down. He had some GREAT friends like Hillcrest the sautéed peanut and Freckles the ginger cauliflower. He met many friends through the years from many places. Sven worked many jobs too, that’s how he met so many people. He once agreed to wrestle a zebra for a wheel of cheese just so he could chase it down a grassy hill. Sven is great, he was even asked to help free a whale caught in fishing nets off the coast of New Zealand. Sven was genius; he just rowed out to the whale, spoke to him for 20 minutes, convinced the whale he was a salamander and swam away fancy free! Ah Sven, definitely the guy you want in your posse. I remember this one time we were in a crunch. Everyone was panicking, except Sven. Sven was so cool. He just unzipped his trousers, pissed out strawberry Nesquick and ate us all out to safety. It’s that “Make anything happen” attitude that made Sven so loveable. This particular tale happened a couple of years ago in the 3rd and a half month on the eleventy first day, under the light of a full moon…
P.S. Please note that the images used in this post do not belong to me, these images were the closest I could Google that represents Sven and leaf people.