The Loneliness

The loneliness swallowed him whole. It resided in the shadows of his mind; never the focus of his thoughts, but worked silently in the periphery of his mind. The loneliness gathered momentum giving his fond, happy memories a tint of bitterness. It slowly changed him and his interactions with others. It was not a conservative effort, but he found himself distancing himself from those who were close. He felt as though no one understood him, and he found more familiarity with strangers. There was something about the brief encounters of strangers that offered him comfort. They could be sincere or false, it did not matter. For those brief moments he felt he could share his thoughts and feelings and then after, it was as though they didn’t exist. Nothing. Loneliness.

He remembered when his thoughts and actions had meaning, when his heart was whole and the shadows of loneliness were nothing more than stories and myth. His life had purpose and it was worth fighting a good fight. Since then his heart has been cut into two, leaving his half to slowly shrink, never again to swell with love, for his love was contained within his other half. It left within him a void, which allowed the shadows to enter, breeding his loneliness.

He wanted nothing more than to be left alone, yet it was the loneliness that he hated. He wanted his heart back, but was afraid he had become too familiar and used to the shadows. He longed for the light he once had, but it now was barely a dim glow.

He sat still yet his mind was active. He sat alone under the darkened sky, his eyes fixed on the expanse above him with uncountable pinpricks of light . The loneliness offered him both comfort and incredible sadness. He sat in the field looking at the sky, silently calling out for an intervention. He secretly hoped for some greater being to offer him a solution, but his silent requests were met with a black sky and infinite stars. The sadness swelled within him and all he could do was cry…