Stuck in the middle with you.

As I began to take everything in, I noticed the two halves. Black and white, left and right, East and West. Seperating the two was a thin fence. I didn’t enjoy being too much on one side or the other as I felt they both could be wrong. I sat on the fence, precariously balancing taking in the black, white, left, right, east and west. It is not easy to balance on the fence. It was easy to fall to one side and was hard to climb back up again.

Conflict will always happens at the fence. The differences ironing each other out. I felt overwhelmed having to balance, be a mediator and to seperate the warring factions. It was tiring and much of the time I felt alone. But in and amongst the factions I saw more and more people making their way to the fence. They shook hands, turned around and faced their factions with courage preventing their side from attacking the other. Eventually more and more came to the fence and I noticed the fence was no longer a fine line impossible to balance on. People began becoming the fence and the fence grew. It grew from the centre out, until the entire area of black, white, left, right, east and west became the fence – Became the people.

This is synthesis. Transformation. And it starts at the centre, the heart of the individual and works its way out. Eventually affecting others.

Advertisements

Puzzles

image

You and I are puzzles residing in a greater puzzle.
Let’s align our pieces. Make a shape to make a picture, because without us solving for our individual puzzle, we can’t expect to see the bigger picture whether that bigger picture is two puzzles or the sum total of every existing thing.

The abstract, chaotic pieces are there, we just need to make sense of them and shift them in to place, maybe then we will see not puzzles, but art – as life should be seen.

Mount Ego

It took me four years just to muster up the courage to meet the foot of the mountain.

Its vastness was intimidating and I thought it impossible to conquer.

I have trekked and hiked up large hills and mountains before,

each bringing its struggles and there were times I thought I could no longer endure

yet here I am.

Those paled in comparison to this.

Two years and still I’m climbing, hiking and struggling

yet progress has been made.

The higher I get the harder it is for me to breathe and I lose sight.

My legs ache, heart sore and home nowhere.

It has been so long, I am forgetting where and what home is,

yet still I continue.

Home is made each night on the side of the mountain at varying altitudes.

The cold is so bitter that I wish to become ice

just so I don’t have to feel the difference.

In the dead of night when light, wind and temperature work against me

I find myself unable to sleep.

So I reminisce.

I think back to how it was before the journey.

The mountain I knew was always there, I just never bothered to conquer it.

As I reminisce I feel a vortex in my chest, a black hole, an unplugged drain

swallowing the bubbles in the bath and it makes me feel seven years old again

and I am being scolded.

On this mountain there is no double-bunk-blanket-fort to go hide inside, cry and pity myself.

The sun eventually rises but it does little for the icy cold and bitterness on the tip of my tounge

until I decide I am up and about, moving and burning.

Still I am here.

I am so sure that the summit is close, but I will never be certain till I arrive.

What I am certain of is the higher I climb the more I see

and the more I see, the less there is of me.

I am a speck on Mount Ego.

The mountain is vast yet the horizons stretch further and vaster than any mountain

and I question “why?”

The answer simply is that there is more to existence than just you and I and these mountains and hills we traverse

and to truly comprehend this, one has to journey step by step,

higher altitude to higher altitude

to witness that which we are merely a speck a part of.

Perhaps the summit is not my immediate goal,

perhaps the steadily broadening view is what I need

to make order out of this chaos.

Everything happens for a reason

I have been thinking of my mom a lot this last week. She always used to say “Everything happens for a reason”. I always thought I understood what this saying meant, but in hind sight, I don’t think I did. The way I understood things when I was younger is so very different to how I comprehend things now, even common sayings such as this one.

Everything does happen for a reason. I believe in the cosmic concept or the universal concept of give and take, or cause and effect. There are many ways to word this concept, but simply, for every action there is a reaction. Even when that cause or action goes beyond our physical perception – just because we are unable to perceive and sense it, does not mean it doesn’t exist. Our understanding is greatly limited by our experience and learnings through life, which is often based on another person’s understanding of their experiences causing them to create their own theories based on their comprehension of said experiences. As history has taught us, our initial insight began from a very narrow-minded view-point which was based on what we could perceive and understand, but gradually grew wider as time went on. Only those who dared to philosophize greater abstract theories and concepts challenged conventional views and was/is often met with aggressive resistance. Again, this doesn’t mean that those concepts are entirely incorrect, but at the same time it also doesn’t mean that it is entirely correct either. A duality exists. If these crazy, abstract concepts and ideas were not there to challenge, then evolution would never progress…or perhaps it would just be gradual until the point in time and space when the challenge is ready and necessary. To evolve means to, to some degree, break and crack that mould that has been perpetuated for however long, until some point in evolution where the status quo or paradigm shifts, due to the evolution of the concept and it’s force upon our physical plane of experience and comprehension.

If we try to follow the concept of cause and effect, eventually it will get to a point where it falls outside our accepted spectrum of comprehension, simply because we probably haven’t reached the point in our personal/collective point of evolution to fully understand the abstract concepts which we can’t see because it is beyond our human existence.
Everything happens for a reason, even if that reason lays in the blurry periphery of our comprehension. There are currents of probability and possibility that pushes and pulls at the very physical existence of what we perceive and know, and if we are able to quieten our minds and allow ourselves to be a bit more flexible and open-minded, we may just get a glimpse of the patterns that show up in our day-to-day lives and not always just pass it off as coincidence and insignificant. As humans we like things to think and see in black and white, as it is easier to identify but life is most certainly not like that. It is not one or the other, but often the synthesis of both.  Just like the colour spectrum is seemingly made of a multitude of perceivable colours, but when you spin the colour wheel the colours synthesize and produces an all encompassing white light.

What is my point? Things do happen for a reason, whether or not we are conscious of it, but I am willing to bet that once we are somewhat aware of the law of cause and effect our understanding hopefully widens and we can make appropriate decisions based on our insight which would have increased. Perhaps it is also our very human trait of noticing and identifying the obvious divisions and differences in life that, to some point, limits our mental comprehension and has its effects in our physical lives. Things are often not as obvious like a spinning colour wheel. I bet if we took the time to look closer and slow down just a bit, forget instant gratification for a few moments, we will see that things are often a lot more complicated and are made up of a few different variables, maybe we as humans can be a bit more compassionate and empathic.

All of this makes me wonder if the evolution of a concept or an idea is really any different from the evolution of human, a planet or even a solar system…

A far way to go…

image

We still have a far way to go.
We love to wage wars even if we are armed with nothing but opinions.
We feel we are entitled to them, but seldomly do we sacrifice it for peace.
We weild them like daggers, cutting little slivers of truth from out one another until we are all left bleeding out on the floor.
It is about choosing our battles, because truth is almost always too big for our hearts to hear.
So we do what we can in our capacity, and that capacity is different for each personality.